What to do? What to do? what to do when you find that day you feel useless? How can I fill the empty feeling of uselessness? Well, what I understood from different reactions in days of this kind of depression is that the solution is just some quick thinking. What is my definition of useless? Of Empty? Why do I even use that word? That meaningless expression?
So the first step I have, we have, you have to go throw is understanding yourself, the way you talk, express, why...why do you feel useless, not always but sometimes for all of us like the night turn in a shop. When you are “desperate” you can’t do anything exept to accept it, go with it and run away from it. Don’t think about it. Why do we do that, why don’t we try to understand our actions, what do we do? Our explaination to every move we do? Why not? Is it really that scary or embaracing that thing we have inside, the real you? The real me? The real us? Why is appereance so important, so necessary for some of us? The inside and outside appereance..... you can’t hide it anymore, not because you can’t! Because you don’t want to! Why is that? Why do we plan all we do? We don’t want it to be a surprise, but why?
Are we scared it could be a “bad” surprise? What’s really a bad surprise? Something we just don’t want to happen, and that’s where we go back to the point were what we want goes back verses what we need. Sometimes what we want goes verses soething else we want, that’s where the real us pops out of nothing. That’s what we call the bad surprise, the bad day. So we hide ourselves from this, from what we really are. Are we scared of ourselves? what? No. wait. Yes. No. Sometimes.
We are scared of the truth, that’s why we lie, to ourselves and the others. A lie is better than the truth because it is made of what we want, not what we need. Our mind is so powerful. It convinces us that what we believe is better, is what we want, and it really is better. Why? Can’t we control it? Yes. No. Maybe. The fight between who we want to be and who we really are... maybe we don’t like the real us, why? Why don’t we ever try to understand and listen to the real us? Why is the answer always “I’m just lazy”? Are you? Are you really lazy? The real you, is something more thoughtful, it thinks about it twice before it decides if that one thing is good for you or not. The truth is that.... the things right for you are blowing out of it. Someday during the fight between the you and the “I want to be me”, the first one, the one you are scared of, will win. That day won’t be the best, but it’s all up to you.
The key is understand you and sometimes give the chance of some actions to the other you too. One each. Two each. To be balanced. To set a version of you wich is in the middle, a set of things in between where they both agree. Why? Because it’s right, and it’s the first step to erease that sadness from your other side or also called “feeling of uselessness”. It’s a different feeling because it’s a different you. But it’s not so hard to get use to it, after all, it’s you, a more caring version of you.
Even using this balance needs thinking, a middle thinking to get both opinions about what the first side would do. I know, it doesn’t sound fair, but you can still have fun, some different fun. I think the best thing to do before every action is a formula, an average that at least every action has to reach before being done by you, the you in between, the balanced you.
That’s a rule, the rule. The perfect rule to estabilish what’s right and what we want. But, moving on to step two of this all phase, it’s the time to decide if this is really what would erease that feeling of sadness, will it make us happier to do what’s right or what we want? Sometimes, like I said before, our mind convinces us that what we want makes us happier than what’s right, but the truth is that proudness is the happiness of the real us side.
Almost every positive feeling is the expression of happiness from the second side, because the first one is just the short version of us. The easy version of us. That’s why sometimes we get to hate it, it’s not enough for what we really are. We are many things. We can do many things, and all at the same time, so quickly that sometimes your mind just blows up and refuses to do what the true you side asks you to.
That’s why we need a little bit of both.
The majority than, depends to change one of the most important questions that will probably make you change the balance, which is wrong. The question is either: is balanced what I want? or Is balanced what’s right? Yes or no is not the answer. This question is a bit more complex. After all, what we want will always be the one, the one with most priorities because of our balance that makes us think that’s the best thing for you, to be happy. Weweweweeee, Wrong.
Is real happy want we want or what will be best? That’s probaly the only thing that has balance, a perfect balance that will make both sides happy, the real happy. How do we get real happiness? Easy. Listen once and for all, but not completely to the true side of you. It’s hard to get convinced of it because the second side is still fighting it and you can’t get over it because it gets a bigger part of your mind which is pretty hard to ignore and fight. This does not mean it is impossible.
Thanks for reading... I will keep you updated
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